It can be a heartbreaking and gut-wrenching experience when our adult children don’t like us. After spending years raising and nurturing them, it can feel like a betrayal when they no longer want to be a part of our lives. However, it’s important to remember that we are not defined by our children’s opinions of us. We are still deserving of love, happiness, and fulfillment, even if our own flesh and blood may not see it.
So, how can we begin to move on and start fresh when our adult children don’t like us? It may not be easy, but it is possible with the right mindset and approach. Here are some tips to help you navigate this difficult situation:
- Focus on self-care: It’s important to take care of yourself during this challenging time. Make sure to prioritize your physical and emotional well-being by eating well, exercising, and seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist. Make sure to get out and get fresh air, even if these small tasks seem to be too much at times. Force yourself to burn energy in order to renew.
- Find new hobbies and interests: Now is the perfect time to explore new passions and activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Whether it’s painting, gardening, or traveling, immersing yourself in new experiences can help you move forward and create a sense of purpose. Even turn your hobby into a small business, this will give you a new purpose and an opportunity to meet new people.
- Surround yourself with positivity: Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Seek out friends who make you feel valued and appreciated, and limit contact with those who bring negativity into your life. Become more discerning in your relationships, don’t settle. Realize you may become a target for predators who see you being alone often. Create and maintain boundaries. These demons will go away once they can’t infiltrate your life like they want and they will try this with someone else they can easily scare, manipulate, and force themselves on.
- Practice forgiveness: It may be difficult, but forgiveness is essential in order to move on. Try to let go of any anger or resentment you may feel towards your adult children and focus on healing and moving forward. There are two sides to every story and if they don’t value yours, it is time to move on. Forgive yourself for all your shortcomings and mistakes you made. It is time to love yourself when seemingly it is too hard for others to do so. YOU are valued and YOU matter. The Lord wants you to learn, learn, learn and then advance to the next stage. Sometimes this means continuing on your journey without those who you thought would be there.
- Seek professional help: If you’re struggling to cope with the situation, don’t hesitate to seek help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with the tools and support you need to navigate this challenging time.
- Turn old pictures into artwork and display proudly in your home. This gives a respectful nod to happier times, yet shows how you can create a masterpiece that adds value in your new improved life of moving on. Life is art.
- Cry, yell, scream – get it out until there is nothing left to be sad about. Feel sorry for yourself and be a victim, for just a split moment. Then get up, dust yourself off, and move on. It is OK to be sad, but at some point you have to get back to living – and living well.
- Re-image yourself. Remember you have a new life now. With new experiences, a new attitude, new direction, new focus…don’t be afraid to let the old you go.
Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Many parents have experienced similar struggles with their adult children, and there is a community of support available to help you through this difficult time. Stay strong, stay positive, and know that you are deserving of love and happiness, no matter what your adult children may think of you. Especially after the world wide lock down and family estrangement and separation – new family units formed, even if it was an appreciation of fur or feather babies or deciding that being alone is truly your cup of tea.
Embrace this life altering challenge and know it is destiny. Your job is done and it is time to let go and move on. Maybe they will fly back, maybe not. Ignore the haters who haven’t experienced this…yet. These energy vampires have to hate something about you due to their own insecurities. Rejoice in the love that you had once and all those wonderful memories! You will then start to see how truly blessed you are and now it is time to fulfill your next assignment of life. The one your Lord has for you. Wish your past well. The best revenge has always been to do well and why not wish that for them too?
Embrace the adventure!
The Adventure Machine
References/Further Study:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/constructive-wallowing/201810/stages-estrangement-shock
The Adventure Machine 
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